Relationships are tricky old things.
If you’re in a relationship with any degree of seriousness you will find they require hard work and constant attention in order to keep them afloat and a lot of kindling to keep the fire still burning.
Comfort becomes a safety net that we cling to, when in actual fact we need to break free from the repeated conversations about whose turn it is to clean the toilet or what sandwich we ate at lunch today.
So here at we have devised a list that is sure to keep that magic spark in your relationship:
1. Talk every day
If you don’t already live with your partner then this is a fairly crucial part in keeping your relationship fresh and interesting. I’m not saying you need to have a 4 hour long conversation daily but a quick face time or phone call to catch up can often give you something to talk about even in the most troublesome of times.
Texting is NOT talking and I don’t think it should be the ‘done thing’ as it is much more impersonal than actually hearing each other’s voice. Younger generations have grown scared of simply picking up the phone to speak to someone, preferring the comfort of talking through Facebook and Twitter.
“How r u?”
“I’m gd how are you?”
This is NOT TALKING!
So make the effort, pick up the phone and catch up with your partner.
2. Replicate things from the start of your relationship
Take a look back and see how the start of your relationship is different to how it is now. How is it different? Did you used to spend hours laid in the garden together or sing along to your favourite album in the car?
You can always find ways to reconnect with your partner by things that brought you together in the first place! Just because things have moved on and changed doesn’t mean that you can’t revert back and pick it up again.
The most important thing is when things fall out of balance you act immediately and don’t let your feelings fester and stew. The longer you put it off, the more sad and lost you will both begin to feel. It is important as the actions you take today could help to save your relationship.
Make a list of things you and your partner could do to reconnect and worth together to get that ‘honeymoon’ feeling back!
3. Random acts of kindness
Whether it is just buying your other half a vanilla slice from Cooplands or surprising them by turning up at their house, it is often beneficial to add a bit of spontaneity into your relationship, and sometimes small gestures of kindness can make all the difference. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but doing things that mean a lot to you and your partner can often bring a spark to your relationship.
4. Binge-watch on some TV together
Both pick a series that you really want to see, whether it be Game of Thrones or Gavin and Stacey and cuddle up on the sofa and enjoy it together. It can often be a point of conversation in the future and give you both something to relate to: ‘Oh what’s occurring?’.
I’m not at all suggesting that you should watch TV every night as that is not a way to socialise with your other half properly. However, it is a good way to create points of conversation and get you both interested in something together!
5. Keep the balance right
It is really important that you strike the balance between spending time with your partner and also making time for your friends and family. You need to be sure that you make enough time to see everyone in your life and not be just excluded with your partner. Sometimes a bit of alone time can be just what you need.
You will both have things that you want to do individually, whether it be having a girly night with your friends or letting your partner loose with a football in the garden.
It is important to embrace the differences that you both have, even though you are in a relationship you really don’t have to spend every living minute with each other. Trust me on this one, differences are a good thing.
6. Plan things
I find that is it really exciting to have things to look forward to in the future whether it be a quick trip to the cinema or a two week get away to the Mediterranean. Planning things together means you both have something to look forward to and a chance to make some amazing memories!
Grab an activities guide for your area and make a list of things that interest you both, or even look things up on the internet that you both really want to experience and go out and DO IT!
Even better is booking a surprise adventure for your partner. You’re much more likely to whip them into shape and get them motivated if you already plan them something to do. They’re less likely to be indecisive and unsure of what they want to do if you already have it sorted.
7. Show them you love them
If you’ve been together 1 year or 10, you should still make an effort to show your partner how you feel. Valentine’s Day and anniversaries shouldn’t just be an excuse to show them how much they mean to you. You love them all through the year, so show them!
You could possibly start learning something together, so you can spend a few more precious hours with each other to help reconnect and have something in common that you can both enjoy.
8. Make an effort with their friends and family
One thing that can often keep relationships exciting and happy are the ones where you enjoy spending time with each other’s friends and family. It gives you the opportunity to go on double dates or just go around for Sunday lunch, therefore you are still seeing the people who mean a lot to you and involving your partner at the same time.
9. Experiment in the bedroom
No doubt if you’ve been together for a few years things may get a little stale in the bedroom and need a bit of life pumping back into it.
Don’t be afraid to experiment with your sex life as it can often inject some new fire into your relationship. Often relationships are much happier if you are having regular, exciting sex and that can re-inject some well needed lust into your lives!
Talk to your partner, look up articles on some new sex positions that you have never tried before and take a quick trip to Ann Summers and see where it takes you..
10. You can make anything fun!
Don’t forget that you can often turn simple, boring situations into something memorable just by having fun and not taking it too seriously. Chasing each other around the supermarket or kissing the night away in the park can often reconnect the childish instincts in you that you had forgotten about way back at the start of your relationship.
You could even reinstate the old school technique of flirting, as there’s nothing more boring than talking to each other like you’re at a conference rather than in a relationship!
A cheeky flirtatious text every now and again, fluttering your eyelashes and shaking your hips can create a more exciting atmosphere in your relationship!
11. Surprise them
As I said earlier, spontaneity can often be an exciting thing for your relationship. Whether it is being there when they finish that final exam or surprising them by coming home and whisking them away to dinner, surprises make us smile and that’s a pretty positive thing for any relationship.
12. Don’t take it too seriously
Don’t be afraid of offending your partner by calling them a stupid name or pushing them in a bush on the way home, often it can reduce stress if you are both arguing and helps to keep you both grounded and realise why you are in the relationship in the first place.
13. Have date nights
Especially when you have been with each other for a long time and the days of the ‘honeymoon’ period are out of the window, it is important to still devote some time with each other. One date night a month can help you to spend some well needed time together. Either going for a meal, ice skating or doing something you both love can help to keep the fire going.
14. Speak up
If something annoys you about your partner, tell them! If they are always leaving dirty pots lying around or cluttering up the bedroom with their leftover wrappers just say it to them. There is no point bottling it up and letting it stew as it will just lead to a bigger argument.
However, sometimes it may work for you both to be more considerate of things that bug you about each other. Is there something that you do that gets your partner hot under the collar? Have a long hard think and both vow to be more considerate of each others pet peeves and little things they want in a particular way.
I’m sure there will be something that you both may want changing, give it a shot, see if it makes a difference.
15. Be honest
The worst thing to have in a relationship is secrets. Your partner should be the person you can tell everything about yourself to as you have chosen to spend your life with them.
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