A mature lady gets pulls over for speeding
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't
Traffic Cop: Don't have one?
Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk
Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle
registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Traffic Cop: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Traffic Cop: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the
Traffic Cop: You what!?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the
trunk if you want to see
The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away
to his car while calling for back up.
Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have
stolen this car and
murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of
your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers The
traffic cop is
Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch
purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license quizzically.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was
told by my officer here that you didn't have a license,
that you stole this car, and that you murdered and
hacked up the owner!
Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was
Don't Mess With Mature Ladies